I know from my own experience how a divided mind can lead to neurosis. I used to work too much, trying to achieve success, recognition, and security. I was always stressed, anxious, and unhappy. I had problems with almost everything and everyone. I was criticizing, judging, afraid, jealous, angry, and desperately in obsessive and possessive feelings. I felt like life was hell, and I had no hope or joy.
Then, in 2009, something changed. Laura gave me a book of Osho as a gift. I think she thought it might help me to find some peace and clarity. I was skeptical at first, but I decided to give it a try. I started reading the book, and I was amazed by the wisdom and insight that Osho shared. He spoke to me as if he knew me, as if he understood my situation and my suffering. He showed me how I was creating my own misery by being divided, by being in conflict with myself and with reality. He also showed me how I could heal myself by going beyond the mind, by becoming meditative, and by discovering my true self.
I was intrigued and inspired by Osho’s words. I decided to follow his guidance and experiment with his methods of meditation. I started practicing meditation every day, and I noticed a difference in myself. I felt more relaxed, more aware, and more alive. I felt more connected, more compassionate, and more loving. I felt more free, more authentic, and more joyful. I even overcame taboos thanks to Osho. I realized that I was not neurotic anymore; I was not divided anymore. I was whole, I was one, and I was happy. I was content and happy despite the deep void—the black hole—that she had left in my life.
Neurosis is a term that describes a range of mental and emotional disorders that affect millions of people around the world. It is characterized by anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts, irrational fears (just like the ones I had), and other symptoms that interfere with one’s normal functioning and well-being. But what causes neurosis? And how can we overcome it?
One of the most insightful answers to these questions comes from Osho, my dear master, who challenged the conventional wisdom of modern times. Osho proposed that neurosis is the result of a divided mind, a mind that is in conflict with itself and with reality. He said:
Neurosis means that you are carrying such a great weight in your mind that you are dying under it. You cannot move. It is an indisputable fact that your consciousness is floating. You cannot even crawl; the weight is too great. And the weight continues to increase every moment. The person cracks. It’s natural.
What is this weight that Osho is talking about? It is the weight of our past, our conditioning, our beliefs, our expectations, our attachments, our fears, and our desires. It is the weight of our ego, the false sense of self that we have created and identified with. It is the weight of our ignorance, our inability to see things as they are, and our resistance to change.
Osho explained that we are born with a natural and innocent mind, a mind that is open, curious, creative, and joyful. But as we grow up, we are influenced by the society, the culture, the religion, the family, and the education that we are exposed to. We are taught what to think, what to feel, what to do, and what to be. We are given a set of rules, norms, values, and ideals that we are supposed to follow and conform to. We are conditioned to fit in, to please others, to seek approval, and to avoid rejection.
In this process, we lose touch with our true nature, our inner voice, our intuition, and our spontaneity. We become divided, fragmented, and conflicted. We develop a split between our inner and outer selves, between our authentic and false selves, between our heart and mind, and between our individuality and society. We become neurotic.
Osho said:
There are a few things to understand. A neurosis is a rat that tries endlessly where there is no exit and does not learn. Yes, not learning is a neurosis; that is the first definition. You keep on trying the dead end. You are angry. How many times have you been angry? And how many times have you regretted being angry? Still, the stimulus is there, and your reaction will be the same. You have learned nothing.
A neurotic person is someone who repeats the same mistakes over and over again without learning from them. A neurotic person is someone who reacts to life in a mechanical and unconscious way without being aware of the consequences. A neurotic person is someone who is stuck in a vicious cycle of suffering without finding a way out.
How can we break this cycle? How can we heal our divided minds and restore our wholeness? How can we transcend our neurosis and attain a state of peace, harmony, and bliss?
Osho suggested that the only way to do this is to go beyond the mind, beyond the ego, and beyond conditioning. He said that we need to rediscover our true selves, our original faces, and our innermost core. He said that we need to awaken to our true nature, our buddha nature, our godliness. He said that we need to become meditative, aware, and conscious.
Meditation is the key to liberation from neurosis. Meditation is the art of witnessing, of observing, of being present. Meditation is the science of self-knowledge, of self-transformation, of self-realization. Meditation is the path of love, compassion, and wisdom.
Osho taught many methods of meditation, suitable for different types of people and situations. He emphasized that meditation is not a technique but a state of being, a way of living, and a quality of awareness. He encouraged us to experiment with different methods and find the one that worked best for us. He also advised us to be playful, creative, and joyful in our meditation and not to take it too seriously or rigidly.
Some of the most popular and effective methods of meditation that Osho introduced are:
Dynamic Meditation: A powerful and cathartic method that involves five stages of breathing, shaking, jumping, screaming, and silence. It is designed to release the pent-up emotions, tensions, and traumas that are stored in our body and mind and to create a space for silence and relaxation.
Kundalini Meditation: A gentle and soothing method that involves four stages of shaking, dancing, sitting, and lying down. It is designed to awaken the dormant energy that lies at the base of our spine and to allow it to flow freely throughout our body and mind, creating a state of bliss and harmony.
Nadabrahma Meditation: A subtle and harmonious method that involves three stages of humming, hand movements, and silence. It is designed to create a vibration of sound and silence in our being and to tune us with the cosmic sound, the sound of existence, the sound of OM.
No-Mind Meditation: A simple and profound method that involves two stages of gibberish and silence. It is designed to empty our mind of all the thoughts, words, and concepts that clutter it and to create a space for pure awareness, pure consciousness, and pure being.
These are just a few examples of the many methods that Osho offered. He also suggested that we can meditate on anything that appeals to us, such as music, dance, painting, gardening, walking, or anything else that brings us joy and relaxation. He said that the essential thing is to be alert, attentive, and watchful of whatever we are doing, and to do it with totality, with love, and with gratitude.
By practicing meditation regularly, we can gradually dissolve our divided mind, our neurosis, and our suffering. We can gradually heal our wounds, our conflicts, and our fears. We can gradually reclaim our innocence, our creativity, and our joy. We can gradually realize our true selves, our true potential, and our true purpose.
Osho said:
Meditation is nothing but putting the mind aside, putting the mind out of the way, and bringing a witnessing that is always there but hidden underneath the mind. This witnessing will reach your center, and once you have become enlightened, there is no problem. Then bring the mind in tune with you.
If you want to be whole and happy, follow Osho’s guidance and embark on the journey of meditation, the journey of self-discovery, and the journey of liberation. Go beyond your divided mind and experience the unity of existence, the beauty of life, and the ecstasy of love. Then you can become free from neurosis and become a buddha, a light unto yourself and the world.
I have done all this, and I know from experience that it works. I am filled with deep feelings of gratitude to Osho for the life practices and deep insights he has given me.
I am also grateful to Laura for enriching my life and introducing me to Osho.