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The Six People in the Room: A Reflection on Identity and Authenticity

What happens when two people meet in a room? According to the American philosopher William James, there are actually six people present. He said, “Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is."


This quote suggests that our identity is not a fixed or stable entity but rather a dynamic and relational construct that depends on how we perceive ourselves, how others perceive us, and how we really are. But who are we, really? And how can we discover our true self?


One of my former students shared this quote with me on WhatsApp, and I replied with the following message:


If there are two people, there is actually a big crowd in the room. A person who cannot be himself, a person who has not been able to break his psychological bond even with his closest ones such as mum and dad, is a crowd even alone, two people are a very big crowd. A person who has not discovered his original face, who is not centred in himself, has his mother, father and teachers talking inside him. There is not a single original word or idea belonging to such a person. He behaves and speaks under the influence of deep hypnosis or conditioning.


What I meant by this message is that many of us are living in a state of alienation from our true self, and we are constantly influenced by the expectations, opinions, and judgments of others. We have created a false center, an ego, that is not our real center. Our real center is the center of all, the center of life and death, the center of existence. As the Indian mystic Osho said, “It is a false center—utilitarian, make-believe, just manufactured by you. It has nothing to do with your real center. Your real center is the center of all. Your real self is the self of all. At the center, the whole existence is one—just as at the source of light, the sun, all rays are one."


How can we find our real center, our real self? Osho suggested a simple technique called Hara Centering, which involves concentrating the energy on the Hara, the point two inches below the navel. He said, “Concentrate the energy on the Hara, the point two inches below the navel. That is the center from where one enters life, and that is the center from where one dies and goes out of life. So that is the contact center between the body and the soul. If you feel a sort of wavering left and right and you don’t know where your center is, that simply shows that you are no longer in contact with your Hara, so you have to create that contact."


A smiling girl in the paradise, smiling, innocent and contented
Before Paradise Lost

By practicing Hara Centering, we can become more aware of our inner reality, and we can live more courageously, authentically, and creatively. We can also become more compassionate and harmonious with others because we realize that we are not separate but connected to the whole. We can see beyond the six people in the room, recognize the One that is in all, and find our paradise lost.


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